Staying Sane through the Holidays

For many people, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are some of the most stressful of the year. First, there’s the sheer volume of year-end events, the number of presents to buy, and the hectic travel. But the season can also raise emotional issues as we anticipate dealing with difficult friends/family, grieving the absence or loss of loved ones, or facing disappointment that things haven’t worked out quite the way we imagined. So how do you reclaim the holidays so they feel less like running the gauntlet, and more like the celebration they’re supposed to be? Here are a few thoughts.

*Practice saying “no.” Whether you turn down an invitation to an event you don’t really want to attend, decide to stop buying gifts for your second cousin’s grandkids, or tell Uncle Charlie that it’s really not okay for him to bring his dog over on Christmas day, saying “no” is a way of setting boundaries to protect you (and your family). Even clearing away a few of these energy vampires can help you feel like you have enough time and energy to participate more fully in the events and relationships that matter to you.

*Take some time for yourself. In the midst of all the holiday craziness, set aside blocks of time to do things you find refreshing, restorative, and just plain fun. Besides boosting your energy, it will help you keep from feeling lost in the swirl of activity.

*Indulge wisely. And I’m not just talking about food! The holidays are filled with all kinds of good and special things, from your mom’s out-of-this-world Christmas cookies to deals on cashmere sweaters to round-the-clock Christmas music on the radio. Pick a few things that mean the most to you and enjoy them guilt-free. But let the rest go—if you miss them more than you expected, you can always add them back in next year.

*Be thankful. If the holidays are difficult for you, regardless of the reason, remembering the things you’re grateful for can make all the difference in the world (see my last post for more of my thoughts on this). If you keep an advent calendar, try listing at least one thing you’re thankful for every time you mark off a day.