Make New Friends, but Keep the Old

There’s an old Girl Scouts song that goes, “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” We used to sing it in a round at nearly every troop meeting, and it’s long been a favorite of mine. However, as with so many things, the true meaning of this song has become increasingly apparent with the passage of time. This past weekend served as an excellent reminder of why those “old” friendships are as good as gold.
                First, our friends R and E were back in town for the weekend, and we were able to have brunch with them on Sunday. We met them about seven years ago through a married couples’ group at our church, and we quickly discovered a shared love of good food, board games, and the Midwest (they’re originally from Iowa, and we’re from St. Louis). Although their time in Boston was brief—R was working on his PhD, and we knew they would move once he finished—we had some great times together, both with them just as a couple, and as part of that larger group. Those were some very happy years, when we felt like we had finally found community here, and it was wonderful to see R and E again and to not only catch up on what’s happened since they left, but also to remember that time in our lives.
                Then, we were able to have dinner with our friend J, who is in town for two weeks as part of a residency for a doctorate program he is pursuing. He and his wife, S, were our very first friends when we moved to Boston, and it was a friendship that profoundly changed us. We only lived in the same area for a year, and now they live overseas, so after 12 years apart we were thrilled to be able to steal one of J’s limited free evenings for a picture-perfect seaside dinner at Periwinkles, which has the best clam chowder on the North Shore. (No joke—if you’re in the area, you should go!) And although we had a lot of catching up to do, our time with J was brimming with memories. We probably spent an equal amount of time talking about the things we remembered from our time together as we did about what we’ve been up to since. The only thing that could have made the evening better was if S had been able to join us.
                Besides being a very fun weekend, spent with some of our favorite people, it was also—and I’m searching for the right word here—a very grounding time. We came away with a deeper appreciation for the ways these relationships changed and influenced us. We would literally not be the same people if it wasn’t for these formative friendships. It’s difficult to describe that kind of impact, and I’m so thankful that we had these visits this weekend to remind me, to help me think about it in more concrete terms, to visualize that thread of connection and see how the stories weave together.
On a related note, I have a book recommendation: Thinking along these lines reminded me of one of my new favorite books, a young adult novel called Sweethearts, by Sara Zarr. This quote from the book does a good job of summing it up: “There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark.” It’s a thoughtful, well-written story that conveys the deep and lasting impact that some people make on your life. My friend Lisa recommended it to me by saying, “It’s the kind of book that makes you want to hug it when you’re done reading it.” I don’t think I can give it a better recommendation than that. If you read it, I’d love to hear what you think about it!
Posted in community, friendship, gratitude, memories, social network

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

Subscribe

Categories